


Autumn leaves

by SupernaturalGeekGirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas is dead, Grieving Dean, Guilt, High School, Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 17:08:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12988590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupernaturalGeekGirl/pseuds/SupernaturalGeekGirl
Summary: Dean wouldn’t introduce his new boyfriend Castiel to his dad becuase John is a massive homophobe but Cas introduces himself anyway and ends up paying the dearest price





	Autumn leaves

“You always loved the colour of the leaves when it was autumn so you would go around collecting as much as you could and I always thought it was annoying but…” Dean picked up a browning leaf from the floor by castiels grave and held it between his fingers , twirling it as he did.  
“But your not here anymore and I cant collect all these by myself dammit!” He threw the leaf at the head stone but the leaf just got taken by the wind and dissapered into the sky above . Dean watched it as far as he could and even then he just kept looking . It wasn’t until rain started to fall that he looked back down at his lovers grave. 

“You know I didn’t mean any of this to happen ? you was .. you was meant to stay away from me … to live a full and happy life but you couldn’t help yourself could you? you had to push and prod at my life , at my background” Deans jacket at this point was soaking wet and his hair was plastered to his forehead as the rain around him hammered it down and he even had to shout over the rain just to hear himself.  
“ You couldn’t leave it be and now your dead! Your dead because I wasn’t a real man . I couldn’t be the man that you wanted me to be and now you are paying for my debt “   
He sank to the ground , his jeans getting muddy and wet at the knees but he didn’t care.  
“ I don’t want to say goodbye cas…I feel like im falling but you are no longer there to catch me but i guess that’s what saying goodbye is … its jumping off an edge and the worst part is making the choice to do it “ he had found another leaf but this time he kept hold of it as he spoke.   
“ And once your in the air there is nothing you can do but let go… “ he now sit leg crossed still leaf in hand 

“you should have seen your funrual though … you would have hated it ,he whole school turned up and your parents had gotten this pure white coffin that everyone could write on … but I didn’t write on it “ He paused   
“ I hope you don’t mind I just thought that I would tell you here … I don’t want some kid from 8th grade that didn’t even know you seeing my messege … oh and they played your favroute song which was kind of fitting . I hope your knocking on heavens door right now and having the best time of your life .. well afterlife now i suppose”  
“ I guess I just wanted to say I love you . I never got to say that when you was alive and breathing and I know it doesn’t change anything…cant change anything but ive said it . I loved you castiel novak and that’s what killed you.” He stood , kissin the tips of his fingers and pressed them to the grave stone   
“ Bye cas..”


End file.
